My main problem was my relationship with my mother and the effects it was having on all areas of my life. I was struggling with low self-esteem, poor boundaries, and bouts of painful depression and anxiety. I found I still used alcohol to alleviate difficult feelings, and hadn’t completely mastered how to self-soothe and regulate. I’ve tried everything from talking therapy, 12 step groups, CBT, and holistic therapy. Although this all helped me with greater self-awareness, it really didn’t address my relationship with my mum. I found I kept returning to self-destructive patterns, and really struggling to keep boundaries in place because I hadn’t addressed this core wound. My biggest aha moment was when I started to see who my mum actually is rather than who I want her to be. I also started to realise that the only person who can advocate for me is me and the only person who can advocate for my healing is me. It’s really sunk in that I’m the one who is responsible for my healing and no-one else and as a result, I’ve find I’ve been able to transform the relationship I have with myself! I think the first part is really getting to understand how your nervous system has been impacted by chronic stress caused by hyper vigilance from your childhood as well as unprocessed trauma. And then beginning to really understand what you childhood actually was like, and what your relationship was like when you were a child into young adult. Having the group is a huge eye opener because you can validate and support each other, when we have been taught to second guess ourselves constantly. This work has really changed something in me at the core. I really have started to understand where some habits and patterns come from, but most importantly I’ve felt like I been able to transform the relationship I have with myself. The most important relationship of all!